Eleven years ago TO.DAY., I started my good ol' worn and tattered weblog.
They say it's your birthday! We're gonna have a good time! Na na na na na na na na na...
Well, it would be worn and tattered were it an actual thick book of ink-stained pages like my other decade-plus journals, but since it's this fascinating never-ending cyber-thingy, I've gotten to design and redesign and wow, it always looks so fancy and polished staring back at me from the screen! You haven't aged a bit, old friend. (I feel like my blog should respond with some tart Dowager Countess zinger, but I'm not even going to try.)
It may not have aged much on the outside - save for a few color schemes - but it has grown up, because I have. Sometimes I blush and chuckle with embarrassment when I go back and read my entries from those early months of 2002, which often numbered four or five a day, some only a couple of sentences long. A small part of me wrote with this nebulous but expectant imagining that each entry would be read and cherished by the countless throngs who would, of course, stumble upon it (without Twitter, without Facebook). But mainly, I wrote for my heart, and I wrote for my friends, from school and from church. They probably didn't know it, and most likely still don't, but the words and memories and random thoughts stemmed from them, and our lives together. Without them I would have zero archives. (I have archives? what a strange thought.)
I've just been reading some of those archives, and my blush has disappeared, to be replaced with a grin and several really loud bursts of laughter. I love my quirk-full eighth, ninth grade self, my lingo, the me of constant Franglais (French + English, mes amis) and "loverly" and "lalalalalaaaa" and the occasional "lol," and "yo dudes" (I blame my brother for that one) and "ah wellza" (where did I get that?) and "cool beans" and "clubbing" (referring to our Sunday country club lunches with extended family... This I find particularly amusing.)...
And what I find in and around and between the lines and smack in front of my face is that I was doing exactly what I want and seek to do now: writing about the ordinary, in my own extraordinary way.
We are mostly moved and I am sitting here on my knees in the empty old house, writing this. I have cried twice. It is so sad, but no one else in my family has cried.
The Rogerses brought their 6-day old baby girl Leila to church!!! YAYAYAYAY! She is so gorgeous, like her mama. [She is still so gorgeous, like her mama!]
I decided to be motivated and walk to the track and so I did and I was the only person there so I walked my mile and walked home and it was VERY hot (I went from about 10:30 to 11:10 - takes me about 40 minutes)... and I felt tired but it was a good tired, ya know, the tired you feel when you're proud that you've done something and you know that you've had your exercise for the day so you can eat a big bowl of ice cream or stay on the computer for awhile longer... hehehe.
OH MY GOSH I am really pissed off because the stupid TV isn't working.. I don't understand! We watched "Matlock" this morning and it was working... and now I cannot watch "Friends." Oh well, I sound like a typical materialistic American teenager of the 21st century. You gotta have your moments... OH WOW! Dad just fixed the TV! OK BYE! [Really, this one just makes me laugh. At least I was self-aware.]
me and lizzie walked down to the cross country meet and we got to see that and then i was standing at the finish line with alex and i said "i really want it to rain after the meet so i can walk home in the rain" and then after it was over, it started raining!!!! i have magical powers, haha. so me and lizzie and hannah walked to my house and got soaked in the process and then melissa left and me and hannah made hot chocolate and wished it was a weekend. [Lizzie and I... c'mon, grammar!]
Sometimes I think that when I grow up I wanna live in New York or a big city just for the hustle and bustle and stuff. I would love to live in a loft someday, that would be so totally cool. There are a lot of places I would like to live, like IRELAND, NEW YORK CITY, or NORTH CAROLINA, or other places like that. [Hey, good call.]
|The young blogger|
Today I learned in biology that roaches die on their backs because their shells are really heavy... or something like that.
And on and on and on until... now. Here I am, still rejoicing in the ordinary, still trying to find a way to tell the story of everyday. Back then, I did it without thinking, my fingers lightly skimming the keyboard after school... Back then, when I was tying up the phone line during the days of dial-up. Now I strive for mornings (oops - does midnight count?), thinking through the haze to sunshine, no more strange buzz of dial tones and so much - too much? - freedom of connection, worlds upon worlds granted by a click.
I've learned, seen, felt, experienced so much. It flows through me and around me and gets straightened out and offered up through fingers pushing keys onto sleek glass paper shining through the screen.
I give thanks for that teenager who decided to do this one February night, after her church play was over and she missed the camaraderie of her friends. She didn't care about sounding elegant - something that I can't claim as honestly anymore - and in the process, she found the simple grace of writing her life through her eyes, constantly rejoicing.
Have fun reading my first ever blog post(s).
And here's my 10-year anniversary blog post from last year.