Thursday, September 10, 2009

Ashley and I had coffee today, and I got to catch her up on my wonderful summer. I explained also how I'm just not sure yet (note to all readers: I said YET!) if ordained ministry is ME; I know I can DO it, in a sense (I also recognize that there are a lot of aspects I really wouldn't be prepared for until I took them on and experienced them), but is it what I have a passion for?

She asked me to try and articulate that idea of passion... and all I could think of was my love of writing, how I am unstoppable when I have something I want to say or recall or celebrate or argue or lament... it's a very different feeling than what I feel at the altar/in the pulpit or honestly when I'm doing a lot of other things. It satisfies me on a personal level like nothing else does. I NEED it. It's often how I celebrate God, and life, and God in my life, and friends, and sadness, and everything in between.

And she put it a GREAT way. She said whatever I do should bring out the most of me. I LOVE that. I think that is what I've been trying to find words to explain, when I'm talking about what I want to find, thinking about call, trying to discern what post-graduation is going to be, or trying to explain hesitations and reservations I have about the next thing, whatever it is. It's exciting to know that new things will come and go that will bring out the most of me, ordained ministry or something I can't even imagine yet... but writing will always stay. My words bring out the most of me.

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