coupl'a things on this wet cold about to explode february 21st--
-gratefulness on this 2nd anniversary of driving into this little town, walking onto this leafy green redbrick campus and suddenly knowing-- wow, i could do this. i could be this. and it is better than anything i could have ever imagined on that day that seems separated by more like 20 years. yeah, there are hard days, hard things, uncertainties, now more than ever for whatever reason. and yeah, it'll be good to go somewhere else for a bit. but i will always come back. because this right here, (in this puke-green carpeted room with the fluorescent lights at the moment-- yes, even here) this is where i have my feet on the ground. on the clunky clay cobblestone with the blinding blue sky in my eyes. this is where my feet fly off the ground-- into the frenetic shrieks of sweet caroline, good times never seemed so good. it hasn't left me since that day and it never will. this is freakin joy. and oh jesus, do i love it.
WE CANNOT KNOW WHAT WILL OCCUR
JUST MAKE OUR JOURNEY WORTH THE TAKING
AND PRAY WE'RE WISER THAN WE WERE
IN THE BEGINNING
IT'S THE BEGINNING
five years. still love it.
-finally, to be bold--
most days it's a good thing that you have no idea because i'm not always sure of it myself (or i'm not willing to convince myself that i am). some days i want to shout it and masochistically hope you're in the vicinity. and some nights procrastinating in the basement of the library i just want to drop silly hints that you'll probably never read, let alone get. voila.