Saturday, May 12, 2007

4:44 pm
i am supposed to be studying for my math final. i have been trying to for like 3 hours but i keep getting distracted and i just dont see how i can get these concepts embedded into my head no matter when i take the freakin test. AHHHHHH in 24 hours it will be over. the thing is though, even when that happens there is still stuff going on... all the answers will still not be there. and it will give me more free time to think anyway and that is actually a really bad thing. ugh 9w8oiaskldhasudg#$%#($'57@!#*$% blahhhgh. i want to write this week when i am free... i hope i do not get bored. i dont know, there is just too much to think about besides finals and i dont want to because i feel very helpless and unable to do anything yet... stuck in general. why cant everything just be clear all the time?
i feel like i have wasted so much time today. i mean, this is the only thing i have to do left-- the math test-- i just keep wanting to check facebook and write and stare blankly into space... but i dont know what i would do if i were back in my room (i'm in the union)-- probably watch dawson's creek or try and pack or sleep... none of these are really worthwhile at the moment. i just feel so blah, sticky with past-ness and future-ity that i can't do anything about without making really huge decisions or commitments or effects... and the thing is i'm not allowed to think about that for the next 24 hours until i am done w/ this test... and i dont want to ANYWAY! shit.
if it was any subject other than math i could concentrate.

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