i just finished my history paper, whoo hoo. now if i can... do everything else, that would be excellent. *sigh* ick ick ick. why can't i be more positive about school? and sometimes about life in general. i know i am an optimist but robby is right, since i think everything will be good and awesome, i get all bent out of shape really easily when it isn't. and it's just my luck that spotlight has made a rule this semester that there can't be any visitors during class. robby got to see carmen all last semester and now i'm in it and they make that rule. how typical. baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! and that was not a sheep sound, that was me being frustrated. i am sleepy. and not in a good way, in a tired way as in school has made me tired and i still need to study for quizzes. not the cozy comfy tired. i need to stick to my new year's plan of getting more fresh air. i do stay cooped up in the house alot, and a lot of the time it's on the computer. i go into my room at like 8 pm and the lights are off and it's cold bc it's the first time i've been in there since 7 this morning. i hate that i already have a to do list. i haven't made one yet but i probably will soon. i've been stretching some but i still feel sore on the back of my neck. i just want a personal massage therapist. today ms. donovan said wouldn't it be cool if we could get our college apps done and then just fly through all of our papers we have to write? then we would be done. but that would take discipline that i am not sure i have. for instance, i am sitting here typing aimlessly while i could be typing some more on my guilford honors application. how sucky.
well like i said, i just have to be positive. so today was good, it was breakfast club and yummy and warm. robby and mike came and we took robby to school. english was sooo nice, i adore ms. D and that class!!! i wish i could have it every day instead of having flowers too. grrowl. ahhh english. ahhhh. i saw robby on the way to math, yayee! math was ok, better than yesterday. we did some problems that i actually understood. and apparently we have a quiz tomorrow... so ok. lunch was fun and funny because we all reminisced about middle school, hehe. lord. biology was fun. i love ms. U. i got an 88 on my final last semester, wheee. and i got 100 on my english one! that made me proud bc it was 3 essays about pedro paramo. spotlight was ok, we made an article list. i like ms. welsh a lot but i am mad about the new rule for no visitors. that was going to be one of my main ways to see robby all semester. maybe i'm overreacting but i'm still very bummed about it. then i got to come home and rest. i napped a bit, kind of, and watched friends. then i worked on my paper. ate dinner. paper. tv. paper. this. jeez. i miss my KR 2nd period. i miss KR period! i haven't seen her at all.
i know, as everyone has been saying, that this is a small few-month period of my life that will be over before i know it and i need to enjoy it and savor it and appreciate it for what it is, but sometimes it is so hard to look at the big picture. please help me to be more appreciative of the little things and to put the big bad things out of my mind when i cannot do anything about them. help me to be practical and yet still optimistic. help me to grit my teeth and do it, not be lame and give up.