Wednesday, March 10, 2004

4:22 pm
claire hates decisions. and claire hates being indecisive. because it gives her more stress than she needs, definitely. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
my indecisiveness sucks.
REASON? my dearest laura r., for some reason, may not be able to do the musical at school.
so MY PREDICAMENT? er, OPPORTUNITY, rather? johanna suggested me to replace her.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhgh.
no, i really think it would be cool to do. but i have classes and also i just adore being at home. that is a stupid reason, isn't it? i mean, i can always be at home. and i need to get out of my comfort zone anyway. and the reason i didn't try out in the first place was the whole "i won't have time and i'll get so upset and pissed at myself because i knew that in the first place." BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
i am afraid of myself. not AFRAID. but talking to myself about it doesn't help because i have an angel and a devil on my shoulder, more like an angel saying "do it! you'll be great!" and a devil with a backcrushing bookbag saying "they've been rehearsing for a month already! you have so much work! why are you trying to do this too????" but there is not TOO. the only other thing i am doing now is school. which, when i get home, takes up more time than i have already.
and now i am trying to write an email to ms. P about it and i dunno what to say. i need to call jo...
such a WONDERFUL (not) character flaw... indecisiveness.
fun fun fun fun fun

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