Sunday, November 24, 2002

10 pm
gotta finish my homework and then go to sleep.. no more staying up til 1 am!! hehe. ugh i have a lot on my mind and it is really annoying me. i wish things were back to the way they used to be... sometime back then. i guess i don't really know when i'm talking about, or maybe i do and i just don't want to say when. i am nervous about things- i thought that when the swim meet was over i would look forward to a relaxing vacation but things in my mind have started to creep up on me and i dislike it very much so. it's bothering me. i don't know what to do. if you want more details, ask me. it's just- weird i guess. i don't know what i'm saying, but i want the problem in front of me to be cleared away, i want things to be normal. yikes. ok anyway, tonight was karaoke night and bring a friend night at youth. it was fun. love those guys and gals. ellen came, which was cool. ahh one and 1/2 days, phew i hope they go realllllly fast. sooo fast. i want it to be thursday already. aiiieee. god help me with my decisions, take this stuff off my back because i need a break from all my problems. je veux pas de saucis (i want no worries). but it hasn't worked out that way yet, dammit. life's not perfecto, that's for sure. silly putty is a good stress reliever to pop. unnnhhhhnnngggg (that was a really loud groan for all of you out there who cannot hear me). I HATE PROBLEMS!!! sooo much. they bother me and they put me into weird positions and i feel bad when i get them. problems suck, ya gotta admit it. certain problems can suck more than others, blah blah blah blah blah, i have no idea what i am saying at this point but i like typing and i don't wanna stop and i don't want to finish my "roots of democracy" flowchart. but it's not that much. i love- being my own person, being with family, being with friends, being independent, being happy, being in control. i guess that is what this whole thing boils down to, maybe. i'm not quite sure. i just know that there's something hanging out there and i don't know if i want it there anymore or not. yeah, i know, i'm being really elusive. really really really elusive. but it's not much i can print on the net for the whole world to see (yeah, why do you have a blog anyways clairey? whatever). ok i am done now. sleepytime. peace come to me soon pleeeeeeeeeeeze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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